One of the free satellite TV channels we can access here is called MBC4. Weekday afternoon staples are Oprah’s finest: her own show, Dr Phil, an updated Jerry Springer, and Rachel Ray, the young, loud Martha Stewart (she can only cook) - Oprah has major stakes in both other shows. True quality TV. Nevertheless, it does get turned on on occasions. Today was once such occasion. Rachel Ray happened to have a Scottish guy on. I’d never heard of him, but he did seem to have the sort of Scottish accent that is hammed up for Hollywood. It has obviously got him places because he’s been presenting CBS’s The Late Late Show since 2005. Good on him. He seemed like quite a likable chap, with a great sense of humour.

Until, that is, host Rachel Ray said she was going to Scotland in the summer. She asked Mr Craig Ferguson to recommend somewhere nice to eat. He paused. Then said,

“Go to England.”