Mr S (back to Supercyclist again) and I are going to France and Switzerland in August. A breath of fresh air after Cairo and my lungs are jubilant at their upcoming convalescence. We are going to stay with the parents of Mr S in the countryside somewhere near Lyon and go cycling. Should all be fun and games - surely cycling on French asphalt is easier than Egyptian desert? Visions of pedalling underneath old green trees, past white cows grazing on luscious grass, stopping for a picnic next to a babbling Lyonnaise brook with singing birds overhead soothe my dehydrated psyche. Kind of like a Sound of Music moment but without the kids and in another country.

Am beginning to get concerned about the weather situation. I feel two options are in the air: either Cairo-esque heat or Scotland-esque rain. Neither peddling through lashing rain nor sweating my behind off have a place in my vision of lush tranquility. Fear not, however, I do have a Plan B. Lyon and Switzerland both have what I love. Insteadi (read The-All-Time-Biggest-Ever-Lover-of-Chocolate) shall, in this obesity-conscious era, spend two weeks in heaven gorging on chocolate.

If Mr S doesn’t like the idea of his girlfriend getting fat, then he’ll just have to agree to get a fluffy wuffy and puppy to keep me busy when I get back.

I have a feeling I might see him kneeling beside his bed, hands clasped deep in prayer every night before bed just to make sure the weather is good.