I had arranged to be picked up from the mall/shopping centre at Door 1. This isn’t any old shopping centre, it’s huge and still expanding. The distance between alternative doors is great. So, I get to Door 1 to find a throng of people arguing with security who are not letting them out. There seems to be no reason for not letting people out, just that that’s the decision. The argument gets heated and one little wifey pushes her way through, only for another security guard to jump out to block her way.

Now, out on the road, where the car is supposed to come, are policemen who make sure that cars do not wait. People can jump in, but that’s about it. If you’re not there in time, the car gets moved on and it’s another 15-20 mins before it can get back. A total pain in the arse.

So, realising that I don’t have much time left now, I run down to Door 2. I get outside and then find that for some reason you have to do a very large circle in order to get to the pavement outside Door 1, and I definitely don’t have time for that. So, leaping into action, I secure my purchases under my arm and run to the barrier (in red on map) and jump over it. At this point security from Door 2 come outside and start shouting at me. Undeterred, I continue my jaunt.

I’ve drawn a map to help explain this because it is so nonsensical that you’ll get lost otherwise (as did I).

(click image to enlarge)

After leaping over the second barrier, the cries of “Madame! Madame! Madame! Madame!” coming from Door 2 security begin to come a little closer. Not to be stopped mid-flight I pick up speed and mount the third barrier.

By now, security from Door 2 has attracted the attention of security from Door 1 who rushes to the last barrier in my way. “Don’t let her get through! Stop her! Stop her! Madame! Madame stop! You can’t go that way! Stop! Don’t let her get through!” is resounding through the forecourt.

Obviously realising that the mad foreign woman is not to be messed with today, security from Door 1 indicates that I can continue over this barrier (luckily there was a hole that I can get through instead - I’m not that athletic). “No! No! No! She can’t do that! Madame! Madame! Come back! Come BACK!” poor Door 2 security is still shouting.

To no avail however, because I get to the car just before the policeman moves it on.

Security from Door 1 was right: I am not to be messed with today. An argument at 7.30 am with the internet company (delightful details in another post) didn’t put me in the mood to deal with stupid systems.