Someone I know is having an affair. It’s serious. It’s with a colleague. He wanted my opinion, so bearing in mind cultural differences, and what I knew of the situation, I gave it.

In response to a point he had made about the “other woman” liking his wife and that she would have liked to be friends with his wife, I pointed out that if that were true, she would have done so when she had the opportunity (long before the affair started – and then, perhaps, it might not have begun).

I certainly don’t know everything there is to know about Egyptian culture, but I do try to remember the pieces of the jigsaw I discover. After all this time, it is unusual for me to hear something about it that I have never come across before. A gem came in response to my observation: the “other woman” colleague could never have become friends with his wife.

Apparently, it is socially unacceptable for a colleague of the same sex as your spouse to become friends with your spouse.

Why?

Because it would ignite suspicions that your colleague has amorous intentions towards you and wants to get closer to you via your spouse.

I have no idea if this is the same in any other country/culture, but it baffles me.

And certainly did not work in this case.

In the days BMS (pre Mr S), I used to work for an NGO in Cairo. It was an interesting time and a beneficial project. I had been toying with doing a masters in development as I found a career that would enable me to ‘give something back’ appealing.

My particular task was not so appealing. It was one of those things that looks simple, but in actual fact was fairly complicated and required a great deal of patience for the technical side that in the end nobody would notice, unless corners were cut and then there would be complaints. My immediate boss knew exactly the nature of The Beast (as we called it), as did my department. At the time that was all I cared about because they were the only people who actually understood what I was doing.

When the final, final deadline came (the first one was 12 days after I started, pushed back every two months or so for others to be involved – for two years), not enough time had been left for me to completely finalise the work. So, being a bit of a perfectionist (well, then, not now!) I worked 13 days for free. The Beast still wasn’t 100% finalised, so I emailed all the Relevant People and explained the situation, including the 13 days. Anyway, it was more than decent and totally workable.

About six months after my final day there (final due to reduced funding) I started hearing that comments were being made by the Relevant People about how I worked for two years when the job should have only taken about a month. Then comments about how I worked for two years and didn’t even finish The Beast. Then comments about how I basically was fleecing them for two years.

Of course, not being there to explain that the additional ‘deadlines’ they set, all given because of the extra involvement they authorised, meant that this book of rumours kind of stuck to my name. Although I was partly upset about it, I also didn’t care because I had no intention of working for that group again. By this time I had well and truly decided that there were better ways of me ‘giving back’.

I also knew that sticky beaks wouldn’t be able to stay away from The Beast and that at some point in the future my position would become essential again. Knowing the Relevant People, it would also be at the last minute.

That day came this week: I was asked if I would come back to work with The Beast again, it was urgent and essentially I was the only one who knew how to do it.

I don’t think there has ever been a “No” spoken before that was as rotund and oozing with glee as mine was that day.