Well, only kind of. You see, I was terribly excited about the Vancouver Olympics. First because I’m half Canadian, second because I particularly love Vancouver, third because I was fairly recently over there and saw some of the pistes and fourth, because I love a good show! Mr S was also excited, because other than being a super cycler, he is also a super skier.

The olympian challenge for us was to get the channels that would screen the olympics from our standpoints, i.e. French, UK, French, Canadian and yes, let’s not forget French.

I’ll save you the details which you must know by now involved various handymen, various companies that have no idea what they’re going to screen and us trying not to scream somewhere in the middle.

The end result has been ZDF (have you even heard of it?) and some French regional station from near Mt Blanc that for some odd reason were screening the olympics on alternating days.

I’ve been followed what the time difference and my need for sleep allowed and have made great progress in my German. I even remembered the regional dialects and could laugh at my cleverness for knowing someone was ’speaking with a dialect’ (I couldn’t quite remember which, but hey, it was clever nonetheless!).

Then there’s been Facebook. Seriously, this is a nightmare. Half drunk friends putting “Go Canada!” as their status, or “Will Canada take the gold!” have been greeting me in the morning, but hello, no indication of which sport they were watching!

My favourite is ice-skating. Dancing, not speed. I just can’t get over how I can’t lift my leg more than 45 degrees with a skating boot on, never mind over my head, while traveling backwards, and preparing to do a lift over my partner’s head.

And of course, I like the costumes.

And of course, ZDF and mini Mt Blanc station preferred to focus on ski jumping (my goodness, it lasts days and days) or downhill.

So, it has filled me with unimaginable trills of delight that Tom and Lorenzo have decided to critique some of the skaters’ costumes: faaaaaaaaaaaaab!

UPDATE: Having just reread this, it occurred to me that it sounds like the Olympics haven’t ended – that’s because, in my mind, they haven’t! I haven’t seen the closing ceremony and until I do, every night when I go to bed, athletes are competing in cold conditions on the other side of the world!

In my dreams, I read with the voice of Mohamed Al Mohalhal Al Yassin.

It’s a beautiful advert which shows an often unrecognised modern creativity from this region. As glorious as the screen images are though, it’s the voice that stops me dead every time it comes on TV.

Image from www.nostalgiaholic.com

It’s been one of those days. I went to the market. I asked for four of something. They told me the price was 12LE (ok, so let’s get clear we’re not talking squillions here!) for 4. I said, “Ok, I’ll have one.” They cut one off. I handed them a 5LE note, apologising for not having change. They looked at me quizzically.

“But it’s 12LE” they said.
“Yes, for four,” I replied, “So, 3LE for one.” “Oh no, madame, it’s 12LE each”

So, what do I do next?

“Right,” I say, “I’ll give you 5LE for cutting it and you can keep it.”
“No, we already cut it..”
“Exactly and the shop across the road told me it was 3LE per one.”
“But we told you it was 12LE”
“Yes, but I thought that was for the four.”
“No, it wasn’t.”

So, you can see how this continues for a few minutes.

What do I do next?

Wait for it.

I pull another 5LE out of my bag, give them the two and walk off.

Yup, I paid 10LE for something that probably didn’t even cost half of that in the first place and then I walked off without it. Because, and there is logic here, I didn’t want it if it was more than 3LE.

Good going, eh?

We just came back from a little sojourn in Alexandria. It is a wonderful city, with some classical art deco architecture and of course, the famous library. It is a shame that its beauty barely shines through the layers of peeling paint and ill-advised 1970’s monstrosities lining the Corniche. I’m harsh though: it is improving somewhat.

On a little night time walk to digest the kilos of seafood we managed to consume, I spotted Abu ‘Abbas’ shami hoummus cart on the beach. What a blonde mermaid and a dolphin have to do with hoummus is beyond me, unless it’s a hoummus eating dolphin. Note too please, the bouff as sported by the mermaid. I hear bouffs are coming back people, so get practising your backcombing and stock up on hairspray.

It was pretty chilly, with a stiff breeze coming in from the sea. Summer days at the beach seem far away when hands push down deep against pocket lining in an attempt keep blood circulating and cold air whistles past ears.

Hi all, I am too in the same situation as Maria. I met a lovely egyptian man on the last day of my holiday in sharm in April. We met on a boat trip to tiran Island (divemaster) and met later that evening and spent a number of hours together and I went back to his flat. I did not have sex with him which he did ask for but said he respected me because I didn’t. He has been in contact every day since. I returned in August for 6 days on my own and we rented an apartment in Delta Sharm. He paid for all the food and taxis and nearly half of the rent of the apartment but when I gave him the rental money back he did accept. Myself, my daughter and my friend were supposed to go back on the 20th August for two weeks but he asked me to change it as being Ramadan we could not be together, so I changed the holiday to sep 24th. Late on the 3rd Sep he sent me a message telling me that he had to travel home as his uncle is very sick in hospital. Up to now I would receive 4 or 5 messages daily from him and he would ask me to call him at least twice a week but since he has gone home I receive only two messages really early in the morning ie 5 or 6 am and late at night. He tells me his phone is on silent as he doesn’t want to disturb his uncle who might die in the next few days but that he will have an operation on Friday. I am now thinking that he is spending time with another woman and making a fool of me but how can I prove it. This man has asked me to marry him and have children with him, told me he has told his family all about me. He has asked me and my daughter to move to egypt to be with him as soon as I can. How do I find out if I am being used. At the moment I am feeling very very hurt and stupid. Any response would be appreciated.

As this was quite a while ago, perhaps the writer will get back in touch and let us know what happened.

I’m not sure there’s much point at the moment in offering any advice as the situation must have moved on/finished. The only issue I would raise is that if he is Muslim, then asking her to come after Ramadan is a plausible ‘excuse’. It definitely does not mean he is seeing someone else, as a lot of people who are not ‘religious’ during the rest of the year, try to be ‘good’ during this month – rather like Christians ‘giving something up for Lent’ when they are not churchgoers.

Copyright trailing grouse

Cairo is the City Victorious. She is. No matter what happens, she wins.

I trundle along in my rather mundane life, ignoring her, ignoring her richness around me and then it happens. Without fail. She chews me up, lacerating me with her sharp teeth, smothering me with her sandpaper tongue and as I fight to gasp a last mouthful of air, she swallows. I find myself deep in the uncertainty of her underbelly. Who to trust, where to go, what to believe? Everything is turned on its head and a black  scream forms inside my gut. It moves up, too loud for my voice, the screams echo inside my head, “I AM LEAVING. GET ME OUT OF HERE!” and then the words that later feel so disloyal, “I H-A-T-E  E-G-Y-P-T!”

Disloyal because also without fail, shortly after that, I have one of the best days of my life and know that Cairo is truly Um el Donia.*

Such is life in this megacity, that those of us who choose to live here because we love Cairo, cannot leave for fear of never finding somewhere that makes us feel as alive as we do when we’re in her arms.

*Mother of the world

I have been involved with an Egyptian man for the last 15 months. I have gone to Egypt twice. The first time for 1 week to meet him, then 3 months later for another 7 days to meet his family, as we have been getting very serious and want to be married. He didn’t tell me until i already had been talking to him for 5 months that he is already married to an american woman for 2 years. She scammed him unto getting married to try and keep herself out of trouble when she came back to the states. She was caught scamming people all over the U.S. on the internet and taking their money. Nevertheless, because i saw how difficult life is their I understand how badly people need money, so when i get paid i would send him 50.00 to 100.00. I did not mind this at all. But the last 2 weeks he began asking me for more money to help him divorce her to get over here to be with me. When i told him that i would not get or send that kind of money, he proceeded to tell me that he would not talk to me anymore until he had it in his hand. My question to you is have i been scammed by him or was this a true love connection. Now i have doubts, plz tell me what you think.

Additionally:

I also would like to add that I met him online and can you please tell  me what your thoughts are on this.   Also, I’m wondering if scammers will spend 15 months with you all the while knowing that you did not have very much money?

First I would like to say that I am sorry, this all sounds very difficult to be going through.

Ok, now to the nitty gritty.

The American Woman: I think this sounds incredibly suspect. I cannot imagine a situation in which an American woman would somehow get out of trouble by marrying an Egyptian man. Of all nationalities to marry if you are an American, Egyptian is (unfortunately) not going to get you far. Do you know her name? If she was caught, particularly if it was for online scamming, I’m sure that a deep Google search would bring something up.

Your money: this is an incredibly generous act on your part. Life is difficult for many over here and 50-100 (I’m guessing Euro or Pounds Sterling?) is a huge amount for the majority of the population, particularly to receive it for doing nothing. So, whether he has been scamming you or not, you have done something very nice here.

Money demand: this is, I fear, bad news. Regardless of whether the American woman story is true or not, whether he wants the money for a divorce or not, if this is someone who loves you truly, why on earth would they refuse to speak to you because you can’t afford something? Even if you can afford it, why should you pay for his divorce from another woman? I’m not sure where they got married (am assuming Egypt – if there is even a marriage), but it’s not unaffordable to obtain a divorce in Egypt anyway, unless he signed some kind of pre-nup, in which case, why should you pay that?  If his main motivation in this relationship was his love for you, wouldn’t refusing to talk to you be a strange thing to do? If his main motivation was some financial gain (which doesn’t necessarily mean he doesn’t have feelings for you too), then this behaviour might make more sense.

Additionally, if he is wanting to come to the UK, money will not be the first thing he needs. A visa will be far more important and these days they are incredibly difficult to get.

Online: meeting someone online doesn’t mean they’re bad, of course. The problem is, if you meet someone, face to face from a culture that is very different to your own (and Egyptian culture is very different from UK/American culture), and who does not speak your language as a mother tongue, then it is incredibly difficult to judge their character. If you meet them online, it’s far, far harder. Also, spending a couple of weeks with someone does not give huge insight into their character: just think how different you are when you’re free from work stresses, lying by a pool, soaking up the sun, vs waking up grumpy on a cold winter morning full of the cold and having to go to work. A week or two isn’t long enough to see people at their worst.

Scamming time: the answer is yes. You think that you don’t have much money. I can assure you, that whatever money you have, is more than he has. This is proven by the fact that you can spare 50-100 per month and he takes it. It is also important to realise that Egyptian men are quite macho (by UK standards). I do not have one Egyptian male friend who would be comfortable taking money from me. Some have more money than me, some less, but they won’t let me even pay for a coffee unless I really fight and sometimes not even then – and these are people I’ve known for eight years.

This may not be very comfortable for you, but look at it from his point of view. You have been sending him money over the past X months. I don’t know when you started doing this, but let’s just say out of the 15 month relationship, you’ve sent it over the past 10 months and you sent him the minimum you stated, 50. I’m going to assume this is 50 Pounds Sterling. This means, that over the past 10 months, he’s received a minimum of 4500 Egyptian Pounds. Many Egyptians earn 1000 Egyptian Pounds a month as salary. So, in his terms, he’s received a lot of money. Is it worth him keeping in touch with you even though you don’t have much money? Yes, because to him you do.

What to do now? I guess it depends on what you want to do. If you really want to try and pursue a relationship with him you will probably need to be a bit careful. First of all, stopping the money, any money, would perhaps be a good thing. Technically, in Islam (I’m assuming he’s Muslim), when husband and wife both work, the money earned by the husband is for the family and the money earned by the wife is for HER! I’m not kidding. In reality many couples share the burden of bringing up their family together, but there is no obligation for the wife to do this. As you are not even married, there can be no real justification on his side for your supporting him. If he loves you, he will accept that you are not a bank and have no problem with that – EVER. If you are wanting to continue this relationship, it might be worth considering that this is a person for whom money is something to exchange with love and for that reason, it might be prudent to always keep your money entirely separate from him.

If you do not want to continue, then it’s easier: stop all contact. Don’t tell him you’re going to stop contact, just don’t get back in touch. I’m sure he’ll figure out what’s going on get back in touch telling you how much he loves you.  It’s up to you to figure out if you believe it.

There’s one more important thing to consider here: you. Think about yourself and what you’re worth. Clearly you are a kind and generous person, as you have been giving away money that you work hard for. I’m sure you’ve made mistakes, but you’re human. The question is: are you worth someone you can’t fully trust? Are you worth someone who refuses to talk to you until/unless you pay for his divorce to some other woman (who may or may not exist) and for a plane ticket for him? Would you tell a little girl that this is the sort of man she should look for as a life partner? You are no less worthy of someone who treats you well and with respect than a little girl is.

Hey Girls, just thought I’d let you know that I have been married to an Egyptian man for 7 years. I’ve blonde hair, blue eyes, am slender, etc. Well I just turned 35 and now considered ‘old’. He is 45 and came to me and asked me to send him a young girl from America about 20 years of age. He says I’m too old for him now and needs the young girl for sex but still wants to be married to me. Guess who is leaving Egypt without him?????

I don’t know the background to this, where/how the couple met, where they live(d) in Egypt etc. If you are the lady who sent it, perhaps you could fill us in if you have a moment.

I must just add my usual disclaimer here: not all Egyptian men behave like this. It is an unfortunate truth, however, that some do and for many Western women entering relationships with Egyptian men, the possibility of situations like this ocurring does not cross their mind. In the “West” men behave in ways which “Western” women do not like, but as our behaviour is to a great extent a product of our society’s norms ( its good, bad and ugly norms), “Western” bad behaviour is within our “Western” frame of reference. In fairness to Egyptian men, while many would like to have second wives, I’m not so sure that it’s the done thing to ask the first wife to source the second!

Finally, there is a decent hotel on Egypt’s North Coast other than in Alexandria and Marina.

The El Alamain Hotel is, misleadingly, in Sidi Abdel Rahman, which is about 20 mins drive from El Alamain.

There are no signs (apart from a tiny one in Arabic) for the hotel, the entrance is the same as that for Marassi, the mega project that Emaar is constructing.

The hotel is jam-packed in June, July, August and some of September as Marassi is THE place to be seen at the moment on the North Coast during the Summer. Outside those months, it is virtually empty. If you prefer having the beach to yourself and can bear to forego loud music that masks the sound of the waves, Autumn and Spring are your best bets.

If you like your luxuries, then this hotel is not the Four Seasons (but a Ritz-Carlton will be opening nearby in the next few years). Overall the staff are extremely friendly (yes, friendly, not sleazy) and very keen to do what they can to make your stay pleasant. We did have a problem with our bathroom, but it was fixed very quickly and professionally.

The hotel has no website(!) and I cannot give you a phone number because they didn’t print it on their invoice! If you live in Cairo though, you can just drive up (3hrs) and check in outside the summer months, because the chance of them being full is extremely unlikely at the mo (at least until they start providing people with contact info!). It costs about 750EGP for a double room bed and breakfast (outside summer months).

A wee note though. In the past 18 months, this hotel has been totally refurbished and had a change of management too. There are lots of horrific stories on TripAdvisor about this hotel, but it was prior to Emaar getting their organised hands on it and making it somewhere you would actually like to go.

Hundreds of graves.

Hundreds of names on walls.

I went to El Alamain recently. It was the first time I’d found the Commonwealth War Memorial.

Everything is beautifully simple and well maintained.

The Gordon Highlanders

Royal Indian Engineers

Standing in the middle of an overseas graveyard of fallen soldiers, sailors and airmen, it is hard not to think about the individuals who are risking their lives right now on our behalf, whether we want then to be or not.